The Value of Marriage

    A recent study by the Pew Research Center purports to show that 39 per cent of young Americans say that marriage is becoming obsolete.   This is alarming news and does not bode well for the future of the nation, because the basis of any society is the family, and the basis of the family is a marriage whereby a couple raises and trains the next generation to take their place in society as socialized, productive, contributing citizens.
      The Pew Study reveals that twenty-nine per cent of children in this country are living with a parent who is divorced, separated or never married.  This is a five fold increase from 1960.  It is no surprise to learn that the younger generation has a dim view of marriage since one third of marriages in this country end in divorce.  Those who are Christians may decry this state of affairs, but those who are identified as evangelical Christians by George Barna actually have a divorce rate that is slightly greater than the population at large.
    Andrew Cherlin, a professor of sociology at Johns Hopkins University is quoted as saying, "Now there are several ways to have a successful family life, and more people accept them".   Nothing could be further from the truth.  More people may accept different definitions of family, but the trend away from the two parent, married heterosexual couple is a recipe for disaster for our country.
     Today, most get married fully expecting their new partner to fulfill all of their expectations.  When in the natural course of events, the partner doesn't, then the choice is usually to opt out of the marriage.
    Divorce has been sold as a normal occurrence when one partner is not "fulfilled".  We have bought into the lie that it is better for everyone involved to opt out of an "unhappy" marriage rather than remain and have everyone be miserable.  Never mind research that reveals that those who stay and work out their problems claim to be happier five years later than they have ever been in their lives.
     For Christ Followers, marriage has a religious aspect to it, but even for the non-religious it has utilitarian benefits that no other institution brings to the table.
    When children are involved the absence of both a mom and dad in the home has a tremendous social cost.  Of the children under age 6 who live below the poverty line, 59 percent live with single mothers, while a mere 6 percent live in households with married couples. Single parent families make less than one third of two parent families and the poverty rate for single parent families is six times that of two parent families.  Divorce and out-of-wedlock births are extraordinarily costly to American taxpayers. The Institute for Marriage and Family puts the price tag at over $100 billion every year.  We have spent billions on the "war on poverty", but if Congress wants to combat poverty, the place to start is to institute policy that strengthens marriage.
     The financial cost is not the only price that America is paying for devaluing marriage.  Chuck Colson of Prison Fellowship says, "Where the marriage culture begins to erode, social pathologies of every sort quickly manifest themselves. .........Every time I set foot inside a prison, I see the results of splintered families. So many of the prisoners I talk to tell me about growing up without dad."
Indeed, the Department of Justice reports that more than 60 percent of prisoners grew up in households without a father. Some 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes.  Without a doubt the absence of a father in the home contributes to the reason that we can not build prisons fast enough.  If we want to solve the crime problem, we have to find a way to strengthen marriage.  
    The psychological effect of divorce on children is disastrous.  By almost every measure, children in divorced families fare worse: emotional problems, early sexual experimentation, dropping out of school, delinquency, teen pregnancy and drug use.   Adults may think that they are doing the right thing to abandon a marriage that no longer provides them the thrill of romance, but their  inability to sustain the relationship that counted the most to them and the subsequent loss of connection to their fathers seems to have eroded the young peoples' sense of identity and ability to trust others and commit themselves.
     Nor does remarriage seem to be a solution: children in step families were two to three times more likely than their counterparts to suffer emotional and behavioral problems and twice as likely to have learning problems.  The associated social costs to American taxpayers for these social ills is in the billions every year.
     After viewing how their parents have walked away from marriage, the young are trending toward co-habitation in an attempt to avoid the pitfalls, but this is not the answer either.  Living together without commitment is not the same as marriage.   One of the partners has his "stuff" and the other has her "stuff" with the idea that either can leave at any time.  If a co-habiting couple does marry, they have an 80% greater chance of divorce, which puts them back at square one.
      In an era when Americans are looking for answers to their economic, social and crime problems they have to look no further than the solution of strengthening the institution of marriage.  Far from being obsolete, solid marriages are more in need than ever before.

Homecoming

     My oldest son Saddler came home Saturday after a year's tour in Afghanistan with the 178th Field Artillery of the South Carolina Army National Guard.  This was the unit's second combat deployment, having deployed previously to Iraq in 2005.  All of the South Carolina troops made it home safely although they did lose two soldiers from the Pennsylvania Guard who were attached to their unit.  Needless to say, it is a burden lifted from the hearts of a father and mother to have their son safely back on U.S. soil and we grieve for those whose ultimate fear has been realized. 
     The unit left Afghanistan on November the 5th, went to Kyrgyzstan, Bosnia, Maine  and on to Camp Atterbury, Indiana where they were debriefed and went through some family counseling sessions on reintegration into family life.  Having a husband away from home for  a year is extremely hard on active duty wives, but more so on National Guard wives as they don't have the built in support system of having  others around that are going through the same hardship.   While those who are not military families can sympathize, they can not possibly really know the sacrifice that is being paid to keep them free.  Not only are the troops paying a tremendous price to keep us free and safe, but the families, especially the wives are paying a steep price also.  During my Navy career, we had a saying, "Navy wife, the toughest job in the Navy", and I think during these times, its true for every branch of service.
      We were down for the welcome home ceremony at Eagle Aviation in Columbia and I am not ashamed to admit that there were tears in my eyes when the hangar doors opened and the unit marched in.  I am so proud of the sacrifice that the young men have made and to see the joy on the faces of the families at their return is almost overwhelming.
       There is one neat story, at least I think its neat, about Saddler's return.  During his deployment, we kept a lighted electric candle in our window signifying his absence.  The bulb had lasted, without replacement, throughout the deployment.  In fact it was still lit on Sunday morning when we left to go welcome him home.  Upon our return, it was out.  Now some may consider this a coincidence, but I prefer to think that it is God's way of telling us that He has been faithful to answer our prayers.
       In any event, just like Ty Pennington on Extreme Home Makeover.  There is only one thing left to say:   Welcome home, 178th, Welcome home!!!!!!

Protestants and Catholics

     The Pope was recently in Spain for the dedication of Barcelona's basilica, the Sagrada Familia.   While there he criticized the policies of Spain's socialist government and its laws allowing homosexual marriage, fast-track divorce and easy access to abortions.  Predictably, he took a lot of criticism for his views.
     I applaud the Pope for this stand on homosexual marriage, the institution of marriage and abortion.  Evangelicals have also spoken out on this, but the Pope has tremendous worldwide stature and respect.  In my view, his voice is welcome. 
     The fact remains that there was a reason for the Protestant Reformation. Catholics and Protestants have some major theological differences, none more stark than the means of salvation.  Catholics believe in salvation through Jesus Christ plus, i.e., plus having to be a member of the Catholic Church and the faith adds works as a requirement for forgiveness of sins.   Protestants believe in salvation by grace through faith in Christ plus nothing.  These differences are non-negotiable for Protestants.
     My question is:  In light of these differences and many more, can we make common cause with Catholics on social issues such as was done with the Manhattan Declaration and still remain faithful to Scripture and to Christ?  Can we ally with Catholics in social causes such as these without damaging our message?

Election results

    But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people -John 2:24

    If the polls can be believed, the mid-term election should be a landslide victory for Republicans.  Now I admit up front that I am all for this as I vehemently oppose the policies of President Obama and the Democratic congress.   But having said that, we are fooling ourselves if we think that a change of the guard is going to solve all of our problems.  The people we are electing, no matter what party, are still flawed human beings.
     The reason the country is in this mess is because of bad policy, but that bad policy comes from a breakdown of ethics in Congress, the business world and in society.  Everyone seems to be focusing on the economy, but you can not separate economics and morality.  Capitalism is a three legged stool and requires religious freedom, economic freedom and Biblical ethics.  Removed the ethics and the system doesn't work.
     We have seen that in the recent recession.  Congress forced lending to individuals who can't afford the mortgages, families lied to buy houses that they can not afford and Wall Street manipulated the system for short term profits.  It did not take long for the Ponzi scheme to come crashing down.  Was the solution to let the "Law of the Harvest" run  its course?  Of course not.
      We want the solutions to our problems to be painless.  We have lost the Protestant work ethic: a willingness to postpone gratification, work hard and invest for the future.  We had rather assign blame than take responsibility for our actions.  We demand a bailout.  And Congress, Republicans and Democrats alike,  in their quest to retain and extend power, are only too happy to meet our demands while abandoning the Biblical precept of stewardship.  Thus we find ourselves in debt that we can't possibly pay off.
     While we may justifiably rejoice over the results of today's election, if we put new people in Congress and continue to expect them to meet all of our needs, we are pursuing a false god.  "We the people" can not continue to elect politicians and keep them in power based solely on the amount of "free" goodies that they provide.   Covetousness destroys the moral fabric of any society.